I'm Back...

Wow...it has been forever since I have blogged. I have had a couple of strange and discouraging weeks. It started with me getting sick the beginning of Revival week at our church. I always look forward to that as a time of refreshment and renewal, but I only made 2 of the services. It was that same week that Danielle first got sick. That went on for almost 2 weeks before she was finally hospitalized and properly diagnosed and treated. I have found myself so tired and overwhelmed by the entire situation. I am a "problem solver" and when we could not (even with the help of a doctor and/or medical tests) figure out what was wrong with Danielle over that time I found myself very frustrated and upset. I also like to be in control, as much as possible, and that was impossible as we kept finding ourselves at the mercy of the hospital and doctors schedules. I have also been having a stressful time at work. All of this compounded into me becoming fairly discouraged.

It was strange that at this time the LAST thing I found myself doing was praying or turning to the Lord. It was a classic example of not taking the time to do what would have been the most important thing that I should have been doing. During that time I wasn't focusing on the fact that the Master Physician, the Master Problem Solver was in control of the entire situation, even when I couldn't be. I thank God for reminders of his care and grace in the prayers, well wishes and help of family, true friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. What an encouragement. I think I will be better about visiting people in the hospital and calling when I know someone is going through a difficult time, especially the illness of a child/loved one.

Today in my devotion I read Psalm 119:105-107 "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. I have sworn, and I will perform it, that I will keep thy righteous judgments. I am afflicted very much; quicken me, O Lord, according unto thy word". I am thankful that He was lighting my way. I am rebuked that I wasn't paying closer attention.

Forgive me, Lord.

Happy Birthday to Me....

I just occurred to me, it is my "Spiritual" birthday! I was saved 14 years ago, today!

Lola...

On another completely random and unrelated note....my sister and brother-in-law have a Cockatoo named Lola that they purchased to put in Rene's vet clinic. She is a hoot!

Through the Eyes of a Toddler....

I had a very special blessing today. I spent the majority of the day babysitting my nephew, Sean. I think I had forgotten how tiring that can be....but I had also forgotten what a blessing that can be. Sean is 19 months old. He is just learning to run, to throw, to kick....and he is ALL boy! He loves to be outside so we spent a fair amount of time outside. We filled his little pool with water and I showed him how he could fill his little watering can by dipping it the pool. He was having fun watering "Titi's" toes (that's what he calls me...Spanish for "Auntie"). By the time we were done, I was wet up to my knees and he was soaked all over! We blew bubbles. He is also at that adorable stage where he can parrot pretty much any word you say to him. He was saying "Bye, bye, Bubbles" and waving at them as they floated over the house. We picked up pebbles and put them in a bucket, then walked down to the dock to throw them in. The look on his face as each one of them made a "plop" and a splash as they went into the water was priceless. It was such a treat to watch him react to the sound of the wind blowing through the trees, at the sound of airplanes flying over, at a white herron that was standing in the water. Then we went in for a "nap". I needed it as much as he did! I cuddled with him on my sister's bed. I think I went to sleep...he only dozed. But as he woke up, he pressed his forehead against mine and giggled. He is doing his little baby jibber where he rattles off little incoherent phrases to you in a very serious manner. We laid on the bed for a long time just playing with his toes (this little piggy) and reading books, which he loves. He points and gasps in surprise as you turn each page and lift each little flap, even though you've read the book a dozen times. It is especially cute when he growls if he sees a lion or an alligator. There was a crab and a bee in his book. I would point to them and pull my hand back and say "ouch". He loved that game. Meal time was fun too. He had some peas which I had warmed up and with each bite he would pull a funny face and say "hot, hot" even when they were long past even being warm.

I guess this is just a lot of silly nothing to most of those who ever read this blog. But it was just such a sweet, slow day. It was a blessing to spend the day outside, to sit on the floor and build towers out of duplo blocks so we could tip them over and say "uh oh". A blessing to throw pebbles off of the dock and watch the rings ripple over the water. A blessing to watch the wonder on his face when we found a catepillar and I let it crawl up his arm or the lizard that we found (which I wouldn't pick up). A blessing to watch him react to wind and especially to lay and listen to his breathing as he napped, having his little body nestled against me, lying in my arms.

It was just a flood of memories to when my own children were that size. I guess, back then, my house was never as clean as it could have been. There were often dishes in the sink and laundry piled on the floor and dust on the furniture. But I spent many hours like that with my children....just enjoying them and their company. I still enjoy it to this day. How the years have flown. It seems like just yesterday that my little guy was that size. Sean reminds me alot of Kyle and it was easy to imagine it was him.

Children are such a precious, sweet gift of God! It was wonderful to spend the majority of my day, experiencing God's creation and the world he has given us through the eyes of a toddler!

Forgiveness.......

I've been thinking about forgiveness today...and God's unending supply of it. I fail him again, and again, and again. And often in areas that I have asked forgiveness for again, and again, and again. And often in areas that I turn over again, and again, and again....and pick back up again, and again, and again. In the past, I used to get tremendously frustrated with myself. I do still get frustrated, but I have come to see these areas as specific ways that God has used to keep me humble.

Asking forgiveness requires a great deal of humility....and accepting forgiveness takes a great deal of humility. I am a very "self-sufficient" person. I want to do things myself and I don't like acknowledging things/areas that I can not accomplish on my own. But, without these constant reminders of my weaknesses, I may forget how much I need God, and his forgiveness, and his protection, and his provision.

The Lord forgives us so much. We, in turn, must forgive as much. Too often (especially lately at work), I find myself in a state of "irritation". People and situations get under my skin...I choose to take things personally and get my feelings (or my pride) hurt. I believe, that if I were constantly mindful of how much the Lord has forgiven me, and that if I were making it a priority to emulate that forgiveness, I wouldn't find myself so "irritated"....I wouldn't be yelling at traffic, I wouldn't be whining and complaining about work. I would be a better Christian, a better Mother, a better co-worker, a better friend if I were practicing an attitude of forgiveness.

"An apology is a friendship preserver, an antidote for hatrad, never a sign of weakness; it costs nothing but one's pride, always saves more than it costs, and is a device needed in every home." - Author Unknown.

Lord, don't let me be unforgiving....don't let me hold on to bitterness....

I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more. Jeremiah 31:34b

Life and Death...

Death is just a part of life. How many times have you heard someone say that? I have been living a life and death drama for the last couple of days and doing a lot of contemplating about both. Not just physical life and physical death, but spiritual life and spiritual death.

Sunday, my Dad nearly lost his physical life to a heart attack. But the greater tragedy would have been the loss of his eternal soul in spiritual death. After being given a very bad prognosis on Monday concerning blockages in his already very old heart grafts from a 14 year old by-pass, my Dad was told he had 3 options to save his physical life, none of which were good. What I had the blessing to share with him on Tuesday morning was that he had 1 option to save his spiritual life, and that it was greater than anything that could be imagined.

I had gone through the plan of salvation with my Dad 7 years ago. He had prayed to received Christ then, but there was very little fruit over the years. He would say he was saved, but always seemed scared when facing death (he has had some very serious health problems and surgeries over the last 7 years). It was always troubling to me that I could not be 100% sure that my Dad was saved! I would talk to him about it often, but I still had a sense he was just saying what he knew I wanted to hear. I wasn't sure that what he had in his head and fully transferred into his heart. That is a scary thing, when someone you love so dearly, who is in such precarious health, is possibly heading for an eternity in hell.

Knowing how many times I had spoken to my Dad, and being fearful that I was just not getting through to him, I asked that a Pastor friend of our church from Bay Minette come to visit Dad. I thought, maybe if a Pastor would talk to him, he would really get it. I had told my Dad he was coming and I said I thought it just might be a blessing to Dad to talk to him. Dad asked why we needed a Pastor to talk to him, he wanted ME to talk to him. I asked him if he wanted me to go through the plan of salvation with him...just to be sure. That if he had even the smallest doubt, this was no time to be messing around. He said, yes, he wanted me to. I tried to get it in Monday night, but people were coming and going and by 7:30 he had fallen asleep with just short periods awake, so I knew it would have to wait until the next morning, which made me nervous because of his heart.

But he was waiting for me the next morning. He had been told that they were proceeding with what they thought was the least risky of his 3 options, that was to stint the blocked arteries. His chances for complications was high and if complications arose, he would be very sick very fast is what we were told. We were waiting for the call for him to be moved to the other hospital for the procedure. My Mom, my sister and I were in the room with him. I told him I wanted to go over the scripture with him. He asked when did I want to do it. I told him I was ready whenever he was and he said OK let's do it. I was able to share the gospel with my Dad. I took him through the Roman's road. I hardly even remember what I said. I know he asked me some good questions and was concentrating very hard on what I was saying. I asked him if he wanted to pray to received Christ and he said he did. He was crying so hard for a few moments that he couldn't speak, but then he followed me in the sinner's prayer. What a moment for my family. My Mom and sister were weeping. We all hugged and cried. I reminded Dad that his greatest fear, not getting to see any of us again was now an empty fear, and that we would be together for eternity and that, if anything were to happen, we wouldn't be far behind him.

It opened up the door for us to talk about Spiritual things and about heaven. I reminded Dad that in heaven he would be whole again. My Dad was crippled in a horrible accident when he was only 30 years old. He said his greatest regret was no longer being able to run. He would describe how he liked nothing better than to stretch out and run as hard as he possibly could. That when he was in the Air Force, rather than ride back to the barracks a couple of miles away, he would run. I reminded him that he would be able to run across the fields of heaven.

Well, the stints were put in and my Dad came through beautifully, thanks to the mercy and grace of God. He woke up, looked around at us, and just kept saying, "Oh, thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord." My sister stayed the night with him and she said he repeated it all night long. And I was, too.

I think Pastor Amsbaugh said your Dad gave you physical life and you gave him spiritual life. What a tremendous gift and blessing! My Dad had 2 radical heart procedures in 1 day! He had 2 stints miraculously placed into his weak physical heart...but more importantly, he has a new spiritual heart...transplanted by the Master Physician!

God Sings...

"The Lord thy God in the midst of thee IS mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in his love, He will joy over thee with singing" Zephaniah 3:20

This is a truth I was aware of, but hadn't thought about in some time....God sings. What do you suppose it will be like to hear God sing? I'm sure nothing within our limited understanding could possibly imagine it.

We are created in the image of God, and we are musical creatures because God is musical. Have you ever noticed how even the smallest toddler will start bouncing if any tune with some sort of beat starts playing! It is something in our nature. Music is so powerful! It can conjure the deepest emotions...those that are edifying and those that are destructive. It can affect your thinking, your moods, your attitudes. One has to be careful where music is concerned.

Personally, I believe "Christian Rock" or "Christian Rap" is an oxymoron. I don't think those can coincide. Any music that glorifies the rhythm, the beat, the instrumentation or the artist for that matter, over the message it is sending doesn't qualify as Christian anything. I have often heard it argued that if we can draw people in and win people to Christ by using this worldly music, it is worth it. I don't think this is so. It's not to say that no one ever got saved at a "Christian" Rock concert, but the Bible doesn't condone doing what is "wrong" to get something that is "right".

I enjoy Southern Gospel and some contemporary Christian music; however, I enjoy them outside of a church service. My preference is for the more traditional hymns in church (note I said preference...so don't get too bent out of shape). I do know that the Bible says that we are to be "Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord." The primary focus of our music, whether it is music we sing or the music we fill our minds with should be glorifying to God...and it should be melodic.

Danielle and I listened to some beautiful Southern Gospel music at a concert last night. I went feeling a little down and tired (we even thought about NOT going), but just the opposite was true by the time we were out of there. It was such a blessing. Many of the songs were about going home to heaven to be with our Lord, others about Christ's sacrifice for our sins. I was just thinking of the power of that music when I came across this verse on my calendar today.

Just take some time and think about the music you listen to. Music is NOT amoral. It does impact you and your relationship with Christ. We should make sure that, like in all areas of life, we are maintaining a healthy balance as far as our music goes and that what we put into our mind is edifying and glorifying to God.

Into the Throne Room of God...

The most incredible, amazing thing happened to me tonight. I entered into the Throne Room of God. I don't quite recall anything like it ever happening to me before in my Christian walk.

God has been speaking to me so much about prayer lately. I have been challenged by it in my Sunday School class, in the preaching I am hearing at Church, in my devotions and even by my daughter who came home from camp and shared about a wonderful sermon she heard on prayer. The preacher had really challenged the campers to think about what they are doing and where they are going when they pray. He really challenged them to prepare their hearts and minds to stand before God in his Throne Room, for that is what we do when we go to him in prayer.

Tonight I was studying my lesson for my Sunday School class. We are starting a study in the book of Revelations. The material is very deep and there are many scripture references. I had spent several hours in God's word today, going back and forth between references. I was looking at verse 6 of Revelations 1. The previous verses had spoken very strongly about who Christ was and what he had come to do. Our role as priests on this Earth now...our role as Kings in the kingdom to come. At the very end of the commentary dealing with this verse, there was a brief comment about the benediction that John offered, one that he was taught in Matthew 6:13.

I knew that this was the Lord's prayer. I maybe even hesitated a little to look up the reference. After all, I know that by heart. Growing up as a Lutheran, I repeated that prayer, in a rote fashion, over and over and over again. To be honest, I haven't thought about it that much over the years since becoming a Christian. I came to understand that it was a template for prayer, not a thing to be memorized and thoughtlessly recited every Sunday or in a scary situation.

I decided to go ahead and go the reference. I started reading the familiar passage when all of a sudden, the truth of what I was reading washed over me like a flood. It was as if for the first time, I was truly praying that prayer to God and fully appreciating everything it says about who He is, about His power, His preeminence. I realized I was there, I was in his precense. I had to cover my eyes as I was so overwhelmed to the point of fear. I was too overcome to even say anything for a few minutes. I don't know how long I sat there. I was weeping, but then, it occurred to me to lift up some prayers to God while I was there. To ask Christ to intercede on my behalf and on the behalf of those I was praying for. Then, I sat in silence and just basked in it for some time. I am still feeling the effects of it. I can't even begin to explain what I am feeling.

Now this probably sounds pretty sensational, but most of you who know me know that I don't buy into the "emotionalism" that is such a part of many denominations these days. I am not glorifying myself or the emotional experience. I am glorifying God Almighty and thanking Him for the privilege of living what he has taught us and experiencing his very tangible presense.

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
Lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For THINE is the kingdom,
And the power,
And the glory,
Forever and ever.
Amen and Amen

Misunderstood

Do you ever feel misunderstood? I feel misunderstood at work. I had my semi-annual review today and it was frustrating, to say the least. It wasn't overly negative or anything. I have been dealing with "perceptions" in my office. Let me try to explain. The woman I report to does not work with me closely on any projects on a day to day basis. Our "team", to use the word lightly, at work is pretty negative and gossipy. Apparently several of them have been complaining to my boss about things I have done or not done. Of course, no one talks about all the positive things you have done or any contributions you are making. They go in to whine and complain about the negative things. So even if they are few and far between, the "perception" becomes that you are doing something wrong.

So today, for 2 hours, I had to listen to a fairly negative review of the things I was doing wrong. There were very few mentions of anything that I am doing right. Of course, I asked for specific examples, and they either can't be provided or they are vague and absolutely incorrect. It is obvious to see that the information was delivered in a gossipy complaining manner and that facts were either excluded or grossly exaggerated. It was interesting that I was told I don't communicate. I did ask if the expectation was that the communication would be reciprocated as not one of the people whom I "offended" had approached me and discussed anything with me.

After the 2 hour negative-fest, my boss said she hoped I wasn't discouraged. I said I didn't feel discouraged, I felt misunderstood. There are many situations that are "Catch 22"....you fail if you do and you fail if you don't. I have worked here for a year and a half, and I just don't feel like I am getting anywhere. As long as my boss is willing to listen to others negative opinions and complaints with no expectation for those who are doing the complaining to speak to me directly at the time it happens, I don't know how I can correct it.

I spent some time talking to the Lord about it. What I did come to realize is that I have to own up to every part of those negative comments that belong to me. There was some truth in a lot of them. I have been discouraged at my job. It has become something I endure until 5:00 pm every day, and I am sure that is evident in the work I produce. Pastor Carnes challenged us tonight to not allow our children to be quitters and to not set the bad example of being a quitter. Yes, I am misunderstood. My intentions are misunderstood. My motives are misunderstood. I can feel sorry for myself or I can own the truth in it that belongs to me and move forward, seeking to please Christ, and not man, even in my job as an auditor. I will strive to respect my authority at work and submit to what they want from me. I will play the "game" within the confines of Christianity. I can set a good example to those that are gossiping and back-stabbing, not only by not participating, but by not condoning it through silence.

I want to be a testimony to those I work with. Perceptions, as irritating as they are, do matter.

A Senior Moment...

OK...I was sitting around earlier thinking, "I wish I had something interesting to blog". I do want to set a good example by attempting to blog at somewhat regular and timely intervals! Something just happened. I had a senior moment and although I will be humiliating myself, I will blog it anyway (everyone is starting to figure me out anyway)!

I just went to the kitchen to fix a cup 'o tea. Danielle boiled the water for me and I got a cup out of the cupboard. Then I walked to the freezer, opened the door and proceeded to fill my tea cup with ice cubes. What the...?? Oh yeah...I'm losing it.

At least I was able to provide some cheap family entertainment.

By the way, thanks for the prayers...I am feeling MUCH better.

The Rescue Mission...

Tonight, Danielle and I had the blessing of singing at the Rescue Mission. I have to admit that I haven't been feeling too good lately. Nothing too serious...just very tired, a little achy. It's just been going on for a while and it is wearing on me. It must be visible, because I have just noticed lately that people keep asking me if everything is OK, if I feel OK...etc. Even tonight, when we arrived at the Mission, someone asked me if everything is OK. I just say, yes, fine.

As we were waiting for the service to start, I asked Danielle if how I was feeling was really showing on me, and she said definitely. I was talking to the Lord about it, asking him to give me strength and to allow my countenance to show Him to these men. I didn't want to stand before them looking all droopy.

Pastor Powell started the service with the congregational hymn...Victory in Jesus. By the end of the first verse, I felt like sobbing! Talk about a lifting of my spirit and an unexpected answer to prayer! Those men, many of them homeless, jobless, addicts, were singing...very joyfully...at the TOP of their lungs. Between the verse and the chorus they would shout...VICTORY!

What a rebuke! I couldn't believe I was allowing the small discomfort I have been experiencing to effect me to the point that my countenance was affected so visibly, that I was probably even feeling a little sorry for myself..and these men, under such trial, could show the love of Christ in their lives through their singing.

There was a wonderful testimony by a man in our church and Pastor Powell brought a wonderful message. Seven men prayed the sinners prayer and many other decisions were made. As we live about 3 blocks from there, I'm not sure why we are not there more often. This was only our second time to go, but I think I am going to make it a more regular affair! Nathan Farnsworth is preaching next month!

Thank you, Lord. For giving me some perspective.

No Sad Goodbyes.....

That is a line from the song that Anthony Morrison sang in church this morning..the song was Beulah land. It is so sweet to think about going home to be with our Lord. To live in a place of no sorrow or toil. That line struck me this morning, because just yesterday Danielle and I had to say a sad goodbye.

Our dear friends, the Flemings were here from Kansas City. Their nephew (his family was also from our old church in Kansas City) was married outside of Atlanta on Saturday. They traveled here and spent a few nights and then we went to the wedding with them on Saturday. I can't say enough good things about this family. We have been their close friends for 10 years, since Danielle was about 5. They have loved us and made us part of their family. Sometimes it's hard to be a "5th wheel" in a sea of married people, but they never made me feel as though that mattered to them for one second.


We shared holidays, birthdays, joy and sorrow. No siblings could be closer. They cared for, scolded, encouraged and loved my children, especially Danielle, as one of their own and I feel the same way about their children. There is no pretense with them or them with me. We can truly be ourselves and feel loved and accepted. Just like a true family. They accept me...warts and all.

Their absence is the one remaining regret concerning our move to Georgia. I saw them, after a year and a half, in Kansas City in May so it was a blessing to see them again so soon. But the goodbyes are hard...we all weep (the women anyway!) But as I told Lauren, it is a blessing to have someone to miss so much. We still stay in close contact...and we will continue to see each other off and on through the years...but some sweet day, there will be no sad goodbyes and we will be together for all eternity, at home with our Lord. That's a sweet thought.

Tearing Down Idols....

Can you idolize a dish? Tonight I had a horrifically difficult lesson to learn about not placing too much store in earthly things. Speaking purely hypothetically of course, someone you know may be having dental surgery and you may fix a meal for her family and you may put it in your most prized and precious serving dish only to have it returned with an unsitely chip in it. You just never know how people will treat your most important treasures. They could even allow teenage boys to wash them, carelessly throwing it around in the sink. Caring not that you paid at least $5 for a 20 piece set at a garage sale and that you bought it from a friends garage sale in your beloved home town of Independence, Missouri and how that dish brought you warm and pleasant memories of happy spring morning garage saling with your best friend...*sigh*...it is a difficult lesson, to be sure. But I'll try to deal with it. Now I know not to place store in earthly things.

Why Do We Transgress...

I have a calendar at work that has a different verse on it daily. Today's verse was from 2 Chronicles 24:20. It said..."...Thus saith God, Why transgress ye the commandments of the LORD, that ye cannot prosper?..." I was meditating on this verse and it got me to thinking....

Rules, rules, rules. Even as adults...there are so many "rules" (young people....I know you have heard it before...but don't think that "growing up" gets rid of rules. It actually increases in number AND in the severity of consequences in breaking them...arrive to work on time...drive the speed limit...pay your taxes, etc.)

The Bible says "To him who knows to do right and doeth it not, to him it is sin". If you knowingly break a "rule", you are sinning. Even if there aren't "written" or "formal" rules, if we know we should do "right" and we don't...we have sinned. (This verse always comes to mind when I pass a piece of trash carelessly thrown to the side 2 feet away from the trash can. I don't WANT to pick it up...but I usually do...because it is the right thing to do). A focus on the "rules" can be frustrating.

But...what if instead of thinking of the "rules" as a necessary evil, we focus on the product of obedience to those rules. God's blessings. Each of us were created/born with our own vices, and some things come easier to some than others, but if we choose to remember that God's "rules" are not meant to be grievous to us...but serve as a means for God to prosper us...maybe our outlook will improve. I like that thought better.

A Comedy of Errors....

I dedicate this post to Sam...as he not only lived his own comedy of errors at the Atlanta airport, but because he was unknowingly pulled into mine.

Yesterday, Danielle had her follow-up visit with the dentist after having her wisdom teeth removed last week. After the appointment, she and some friends were going to the library for the afternoon. So, around 2:15 yesterday afternoon, we were travelling down I-185 when I drove over a piece of white wire metal shelving laying in the highway. I knew we were doomed. I tried, to no avail, to pull of the interstate, but only made it to the top of the exit ramp on Macon road. At this point we were driving on the rim. I asked the girls for a moment of silence while I prayed and gathered my thoughts. I called the church for help.

Sam and Dan Liedtke were just leaving the library. They drove to a near-by McDonalds close to the off ramp and picked up Dani and twins and took them to the library. Then I realized that Sam and Dan could probably help me with the flat and the were unwittingly sucked into the fiasco. Let's see...it went something like this (and please remember it is 97 degrees and probably 90% humidity):

- Sam and Dan park at the McDonalds and run up the off-ramp. The van is sitting against a guard rail with cars whizzing by at 60 mph. The police, who had promised to send someone right over, never did. They read the directions and very adeptly got the tire changed to the spare.
- They lower the van off the jack only to find the spare is flat. We see if there is enough air to at least get us off the off-ramp. No luck.
- Sam remembers they have an air-compressor in their van, so now we pull Mrs. Liedtke (Brenda) into it and she drives over with the air compressor.
- Sam runs down the off-ramp and back up with the air compressor, but it doesn't seem to be working.
- Sam runs back down the off-ramp and Brenda takes him to Firestone (about a block 1/2 away) to get some assitance. They send Sam back with an air compressor.
- Sam and Brenda drive back around to my car (which involves circling around another interstate exit about a mile away) and we try Firestone's compressor. It doesn't appear to be working.
- We decide to try the donut (spare tire) off the Liedtke's van. Alas, it is flat. We try the air compressors. No luck. We decide to take the Liedtke's spare tire to Firestone for them to fill it up. Brenda drives Sam and the tire back to Firestone.
- Brenda again drives back around to my car, but as they are coming, Sam realizes the spare tire they just filled is leaking air. It's not looking good.
- Sam arrives with the leading spare, but then realizes it will not fit my van. It is now about 5:30 in the afternoon (3 hours later), so Brenda takes me, my flat tire, my flat spare, Danielle and the Acrees to Firestone. Sam's ordeal, at least is now over.
- The Firstone guy looks at the flat tire and repairs it in 20 minutes. (Just think. If this had been plan A, we would have been out of there in about an hour). But, they will not drive me back to my van. My brother-in-law can come and pick us up after work. That will not be until 6:30. He arrives and we leave the twins as their Dad is coming to get them at this point.
- Rene, Dani and I arrive at the van and Rene puts on the good tire. I get in. Turn the key. Nothing....battery is dead from the flashers going for 4 hours. (And don't forget we have had to circle the exits to get back to my car). I have a small electric battery charger which is not long enough to reach into Rene's truck. Rene has removed his jumper cables out of his pick-up. (It should be noted that at this time, approx. 7 p.m., a man stops to ask if we need help. First person who stopped. Said he works on cars. We said "no" and he drove off just as we realized we had no working jumber cables).
- Rene drives us to KMart. Where I buy jumper cables and large bottle of drinking water.
- We jump start the car (and this took quite a while...it was deader than a doornail). The car sputters. It is out of gas or at least can't get any as the van is sitting on a hill.
- Rene is now off to get gas. I let the car coast down the off-ramp, around the corner into the McDonalds parking lot so at least we don't have to drive around. Rene goes to Spectrum. No tanks. He drives to KMart. Buys a tank. Goes to Spectrum gets gas and brings it to McDonalds.
- We put gas in the tank and have to jump start it again as it did not run long enough to charge the battery (again this takes several minutes). Now it is 8 p.m. and we are finally on the road again.

Whew....I know there is a sermon illustration in this somewhere, but I can not for the life of me figure out what it is. I can say that 13 years ago, I would have been having a fit of rage (which would have, no doubt, included throwing things and language unfit for the truck stop). I was perfectly calm and accepting through the whole thing. I just kept thinking about what Pastor said about God knowing ahead of time, what our "trials" are going to be. I'm thankful for a church, friends and family that are willing to join in the fray. Thanks to everyone that helped.

Don't Be a Jacob...

We had a wonderful Sunday at Grace this weekend. Not that every Sunday there isn't wonderful. But with the 60th Anniversary celebration...all the remembrances and recognitions, awesome choir music and fanstastic preaching, it was all very overwhelming. I have also been studying the life of Jacob and I have been learning some very interesting things about myself.

I am a Jacob. No I haven't stolen anyone's blessing. But Jacob was a schemer. Jacob had visions from God, he wrestled with God and prevailed, and was assured time and time again of God's desire to bless him, protect him and provide for him, and yet, Jacob continued to scheme. In Genesis 31, God changed Jacob's name to Isreal. But throughout the book of Genesis, he is still referred to as Jacob. Israel means "one who fights victoriously with God" or "prince of God". Jacob was not referred to as Israel very often for one simple reason...he did not live up to his new name.

This reminds me of the children's song.."I sing a new song, since Jesus came, serve a new master, WEAR A NEW NAME...." As an adopted child of God, I wear a new name. But I wonder if I live up to it.

I am a schemer. I always have plan A, B, and C in my pocket just in case. I tend to develop plans and expectations and then pray as though I am seeking God's stamp of approval on my plans as opposed to being still and quiet long enough for God to reveal his plans to me. What Jacob found, and what I have found, it that God already has everything worked out. Normally in ways we can never imagine. That the time, effort, worry and lost sleep that we put into it are so FUTILE. The same God that wanted to supply the power and provision to Jacob wants to do the same for me.

I want to live up to my new name. Pray for me.

In HIM....

One of my many favorite verses is hanging in my cube at my office.

Acts 17:28 says:
"For IN HIM, we live and move and have our being."

I love that verse. I love meditating on it and thinking about all that it means.

IN HIM...we live. Before knowing him, I was not really living. Just existing. Fumbling around for the light-switch in the dark.

IN HIM...we move. What I now do, I accomplish through HIS strength, HIS power. Not my own feeble abilities.

IN HIM...we have our being. HE has defined who I am and what I am. I am his child. He is my Father.

What a wonderful, awesome place to live, move and be....IN HIM.

Sins of the Fathers (and the Mothers)....

There are several verses in the Bible that refer to the iniquities of the fathers being visited on their descendants..even to the second or third generations. In studying out this topic, I found that the iniquity or sins of the fathers of one generation of Israelites affected the generations that followed. I don't believe that God was punishing the children for the sins of their parents, but what I do believe was happening was that the consequences of those sins were felt by the generations that followed.

This is a truth, a reality, that my children have had to live. Because of choices I made in the past, my children have had to live with the consequences of my sin...primarily my divorce from their father. As difficult a situation as it has been and although it was not a choice I would have made for how my life would be, God has used it in a wonderful way to bring me to a saving knowledge of his Son. However, there are still difficult situations to deal with. Not having a positive male influence in the home. Also, there are still choices that my ex-husband makes that are very difficult on Danielle.

Today in my Sunday School class, we talked about how God "appoints" our trials. The things that we often see as disappointments are trials that God has allowed in our lives to mold us into the people that he wants us to be....specifically, broken, powerless and completely dependent on him. We can take any negative situation in our life and choose to feel defeated, angry, or bitter...all of which are a form of self-pity. Or we can look at them as opportunities to draw close to God, to lean on him and to seek deliverance from our pain and disappointments.

Disappointment in our current situation doesn't do anything to help the situation...especially not for the person we are disappointed in. In this case, Wiley is a lost soul. He has no authority in his life except for himself. He is not to be an object of anger, but one of pity. His failings....a call to prayer...for the situation and for his soul.

Another important truth that this brings to light is that the choices we make...especially those which do not line up with the will and word of God can have long-lasting and difficult to deal with effects. And that those choices effect those that love us and depend on us....those we live with now...and those who may be our families in the future. Please remember this.

The Hip Bones Connected to the Knee Bone...

Don't you hate it when you can't physically do what you want to do when you want to do it? At 41, I am starting to recognize a lack of resiliency in my body. Goodness knows, I haven't taken care of it as well as I should, but I have never had any on-going bad side effects...until this week.

My chiropractor seems to think I have a piece of calcium floating around in my knee from an old high-school injury. Apparently scar tissue can calcify and then break off. My knee won't bend because of internal defense mechanisms which swell up the tissue to prevent further injury. Also my hips are out of wack, putting too much pressure on the knee....and....he thinks I may have FIBRO-MYALGIA...you have got to be kidding.

Anyway, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my age, my body and how far I have let things go and, in light of the frustration over the last couple of days as an invalid, I am determined to take better care of myself and see if I can't get myself back into shape....at lease enough to make sure I can keep doing what I want to do, and that is serve the Lord, for a long time to come, without too many interruptions!

An "Old" Lesson...with a "New" Perspective...

I love listening to talk radio and to preaching on the radio as I am driving and, needless to say, I had the opportunity to do a lot of both during our exodus across America. I was listening to a preacher who was discussing the tribulation and the pre- v. post-trib rapture debate.

He believed in a pre-tribulation rapture (which I do as well), but he provided a very interesting illustration from the Bible on why he thought so. He used Sodom and Gomorrah as an example. As you recall, once Abraham learned the Angel of the Lords errand, the destruction of the city, he asked if God would spare the city if 50 righteous were found. The Lord and Abraham went back and forth until the Lord stated that if 10 righteous be found he would spare the city.

As we all know, there were not 10 found. Only Lot and his family. Although his sons-in-law would not leave with him, the Lord took Lot and his family from Sodom and Gomorrah before destroying it. That God, in his love and mercy, could not destroy his own, but removed them. This is a picture of the rapture, where God will remove his children from the Earth before releasing the full force of his wrath.

This is a beautiful picture of God's love and mercy. For only 10, he would have spared the city. Don't you think our countdown has begun? I'm sure we are approaching the Lord's limit. But when he could not find even 10, he removed the few that remained.

I also find hope in this in defining Lot as a "righteous" person. We know his story and that of his wife's. They were not people that I would have thought of as "righteous"; yet, they were God's, and he spared them....warts and all.

What a kind and loving Father He is...

There Was an Old Woman Who Swallowed a Fly....

...I don't know why she swallowed that fly...I guess she'll die.

An interesting thing happened to me last night. I swallowed a fly. More like a gnat, actually. I was walking the dog and looking up admiringly at the moon. Apparently my mouth was hanging open in wondrous amazement because, at that very moment, I heard/felt the offending bug fly into my mouth and hit the back of my throat.

At first I tried to cough it up, but I was experiencing a choking sensation and I knew, in that dreadful moment, that my only option was to close my mouth and swallow...which I did. Hmmmm...I did wonder..1) If this was some type of "stinging" insect, would it be able to sting me from the inside and 2) How long would it actually live once I had swallowed it? Oh well...no serious after effects. Just my own home-version of "Fear Factor". Kids...do not attempt this at home...I am a professional.

The Phoenix has Landed...

Well...13 states and 3000 miles later, I am home, but without Dani. We came home via Gulf Shores and she is spending a couple of days fishing and sunning with her Grandparents. It was a wonderful trip. We saw SO many people. Danielle and I both agreed that as great as it was to see everyone and be back in KC, we were ready to go "home" to Georgia! That was a nice realization.

Cornhusker Country...

Well, today we were in "God's" country. That would be Nebraska! My Dad was born and raised there and the majority of my family on that side are still there. We went to my Aunt and Uncle's in Minden, Nebraska. They called other Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Spouses, Children and other various individuals to join us there for a little get together and supper tonight. To my horror and surprise...they all thought my Dad ("Uncle Bill" - my Dad's name is Don...but that is another story) was along with us, so that was awkward. My Dad is the "life of the party". A very lovable and boisterous person that everyone has fun with and every kid loves, so I there were several very disappointed people there. But we still managed to have a great time.

Three years ago, my Aunt and Uncle (who are corn/cattle farmers) lost their 2 sons, both under 50, within about a year of each other. The pain is still thick on their faces. It was such a tragedy, especially to a farming family where my Uncle Richard worked the farm with his sons. One of those sons would have become a Grandpa himself and I got to get reacquainted with his children, their new spouses and new babies. Now my cousin's sons are working the land. Life goes on...another whole new generation of Malcom's. Brad and Cliff's death had a great impact on my family. There are few family things that don't have great turnouts now. I only wish my Dad could have been there.

I love farming and everything associated with it. Believe it or not...I would have LOVED to have been a farmer's wife. One thing you may not know about me and would probably find hard to believe is that I can drive a Tractor, a Combine AND a Grain Truck!!!

Memories....

I had forgotten just how beautiful Kansas can be in the late Spring/Early Summer. Everything is so green. There are massive pasture lands and wheat fields...the most beautiful color of green, rippling like waves in water as the wind blows across them. The sky was so blue today, it took my breath away. The cows are all calving and you can see them scattered through the tall grass peaking up, looking for their mothers. The cattle, especially the red ones (can't remember what they're called) are scattered across the hill sides...sigh. The weather here was beautiful today. Sunny, but with a wonderful cool breeze blowing. We visited a home that has a tour of their Irises. The flowers are fantastic. There were hundreds of them in every color/shape/size. The peonies are in full bloom as well. I can't remember the last time I came "home" at this time of year. I am loving it.

My sister and I spent the afternoon driving around town to all our old "haunts", taking pictures of anything we had a special memory associated with...The Buffalo Roam...The Sweden Creme...Bob's Inn...the pool...the high school...the air port. I will be delighting (or perhaps boring) some of you with these tales and the associated pictures soon. We had so much fun...a lot of laughs. But one place she would not go by is our old house. None of us have passed it yet. I was willing, but Mom and Angie still say...NO. I am not sentimental towards things and buildings the way they are. Don't get me wrong...I have things that hold sentimental value...but they are expendable. To me...the memories, the people themselves...that is where the true value lies. A house is just a building. The people that fill it make it a home, and wherever those people are...is home.

We are heading to Nebraska tomorrow to see some Aunts/Uncles/Cousins. By the time Danielle and I get home, we will have passed through 13 States!

On the way down...
1. Georgia
2. Tennessee
3. Kentucky
4. Illinois
5. Missouri
6. Kansas
7. Nebraska

On the way home..
8. Oklahoma
9. Texas
10. Louisiana
11. Missippi
12. Florida
13. Alabama

Yee haw...I LOVE road trips. Keep praying for Danielle....

Bittersweet Day........

Kyle's graduation is over and it was bittersweet...but still a blessing. I felt very welcomed by by ex-husband and his wife. My family from Kansas were all there. I kept the thankful attitude that the Lord had spoken to me throughout the day, and it went better than I ever would have expected. Pray for Dani as she stays for a couple of days with her Dad. Keep praying for Kyle, that he would allow God to work in his heart. Here are a few pictures...

Kyle, Danielle, Jordyn & Erin (their sisters)...


Kyle and Dani.....


Kyle, Dani and Dad

We're Off to See the Wizard....

In the morning (supposedly 5 AM, but it is looking doubtful) we will be following the yellow brick road back to Kansas. Kyle's High School Graduation is Sunday. In some respects I am glad to be going back. Kansas will be beautiful this time of year. I am looking forward to the wide open spaces, the wheat fields and NOT driving through a tunnel of trees.

As I watched the graduation ceremonies tonight at Grace Christian School, I couldn't help but think of Kyle and how different the ceremony will be at his public school on Sunday. It is a small town, so there will potentially be a mention of God but it pales in comparison to what I saw tonight. I just couldn't stop thinking of how the speaker admonished the kids to not put their Bibles away when they say good-bye to Grace. Kyle has put his Bible down. And it hurts more than I can explain.

As I packed tonight, I kept thinking about what I was going to write in Kyle's card. I kept prayerfully thinking to myself, I just don't know what to write. I just don't know how I should feel about all of this. "Proud" is just not an emotion that I am coming up with right now. And then the Lord spoke to me...and a word popped into my head....THANKFUL.

I can be thankful...
Thankful that Kyle achieved this milestone in his life;
Thankful that Kyle is planning on going to college;
Thankful that he is still healthy;
Thankful that he is gifted intellectually and musically;

But most of all...
Thankful that God is still in control;
Thankful that nothing happens that God doesn't allow;
Thankful that God is merciful and longsuffering;
Thankful that God changes hearts and performs miracles in people's life;
Thankful that I can petition to the creator of the Universe to heal my son....

So much to be thankful for. When I am writing Kyle's letter, I can honestly tell him I love him....and I am THANKFUL.

O Give Thanks Unto the Lord for HE IS GOOD...HIS MERCY ENDURETH FOREVER!

Pray for us while we are gone.

Bull Frogs and Garters...

Dani's post about "singin' and dancin' in the rain" brought to mind another funny memory. When Dani was little she LOVED to take walks in the rain. She would put on her little rubber Barney raincoat and rubber Barney boots and grab her little rubber Barney umbrella (wasn't 7th grade fun....jk).

One time on our walk after a very hard rainstorm (we were puddle jumping), she and I found an injured Bullfrog. It had a broken leg. We rescued it and put it in a fish aquarium which I put on the front porch on top of a picnic table. We called the local animal rescue shelter which said we could bring the frog in and they would rehabilitate him.

Anyway, the next morning we are getting ready for school and I can smell smoke. I am going all through the house and can't discover the source. I can't tell if it's the furnace or the water heater, so I decide I had better call the fire department. I was gathering up a few personal items and herding the kids out of the house when I noticed that a wedding garter, that my son had "caught" at my sister's wedding, which he had wrapped around the top of a lamp shade, had slipped off, fallen onto the light bulb and the melting elastic was causing the burning smell.

Well, I immediately called back the dispatcher but they said sorry, once the fire department was on their way, they had to come to the house. The firemen arrived and I was very embarrassed and apologetic. I showed them the garter and the lamp and they seemed satisfied. They left the house and we were all standing on the front porch. They were taking the opportunity to give the kids a public service announcement about fire safety when I noticed, directly behind the firemen, the bullfrog balancing precariously on the edge of the aquarium. From the top of the aquarium on the table to the floor below was about 4 feet. "Oh, great!", I thought. That frogs gonna commit suicide right in front of Danielle and FREAK HER OUT (Kyle would have probably thought it was cool..by the way, Dani was probably about 8 at the time, Kyle 11).

The firemen were turning to leave and I said, as long as you're here, would you mind putting that frog back in the aquarium (I was certainly not going to touch it...just getting it into the aquarium had been quite the obstacle). Well, they turned around and you should have seen them jump...I bet they went 2 feet in the air (please note that this was a HUGE bull frog...probably at least 5 - 6 inches across).

I wish you could have seen these brave fireman arguing on my front porch over which should push it in. "You do it!". "No, way, man...I ain't touchin' it!" The older fire fighter even pulled rank on the younger one. I think they finally found a stick or a broom handle or something and pushed him back in with that. What a display of bravery!

Another silly, but fun memory..........

Peace that Passeth Understanding...

I wanted to share a tremendous blessing I have experienced this week. I had asked some to pray as I was bored at work lately. Well, they all did a very good job because it then became a "be careful what you pray for, God may give it to you" situation. A couple of weeks ago, my supervisor quit. I have been assigned some of her responsibilities and the "buffer" between myself and the director of our department is now gone. Needless to say, the demands have been great. On top of that situation, I had some responsibilities for a banquent at our school (and not to mention that fact that I am still somewhat unnerved about Kyle's graduation). Last week I was FREAKED OUT! And Sunday, it was melt down time....I HATE IT when that happens.

I had asked my Sunday School class to pray for me and Wednesday...it hit me. My surroundings and the pressures had not changed...but my spirit and attitude had changed 180 degrees. Brandon, who is also working with me on the project, commented that he noticed a difference. It just hit me that God was giving me great grace on behalf of all those who were interceding for me. What a blessing!

I have also been meditating on the following scripture:

1 Peter 2
18Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.
19For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.
20For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

Authority...you never escape it. But if you can take the instruction that your authority gives, whether it is given in a kind and considerate manner, or in a brash, outspoken, froward manner, if you take it patiently....God will bless you.

(And yes, Dani, that applies to you....even if the brash, outspoken authority in your life is sometimes your mother! And yes, it applies to all of Dani's friends as well).

Thank you for your prayers....



1 Chronicles 16:8
"Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people."

May Day...

Two posts in one day...yeesh, I probably need to get a life! But as I was sitting here in the wee hours of the morning, listening to the radio, it just occurred to me that it is May Day.

This day brings back some of my favorite childhood memories. I grew up in a very small town in N. Central Kansas, and on May Day, we would make little "baskets", usually dixie cups with a pipe cleaner handle or empty green strawberry pints. We would put candy, maybe a little note and a flower in the baskets and then travel to each of our friends houses, run up to the front door, set the basket down, ring the door bell and RUN. Supposedly, if it was a boy leaving a girl a basket or vice versa and you caught them leaving the basket and were able to run them down they would kiss you, or you would kiss them....frankly, I don't remember anyone catching me...although we were all out delivering our baskets at around the same time so no one was probably home when we delivered them.

Oh, well...funny little memory! But a good one!

A Tribute to Kyle...

I remember so vividly, the day Kyle was born. I was not one of those women who wanted to know the sex of my child before they were born. To me, part of the fun was the surprise of it. After 36 hours of labor (with no drugs...I was marrid to a Chiropractor), I heard the words I had been waiting to hear..."It's a boy!" What a thrill to my heart! I had wanted a son, especially as the eldest. I think because I had always wanted an older brother. I can remember taking him into my arms for the first time and staring into each others eyes! It was love at first sight...and we have been best buds ever since!

Kyle was an easy child. Very tender hearted and eager to please. He was very thoughtful and intellectual. Very curious. I remember playing "What's dat?" with him for HOURS. As we drove down the road or walked through a store or a park, he would ask me that question, repeatedly, and I would answer. He had a funny little habit of holding people's ears. "Hold you ear, Mommy," he would say. He liked to go to sleep that way.

From a very early age, it was apparent that he was going to be able to sing and sing well. He sang "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy" in a talent contest at the age of 4, and cried when he came in second. We were a singing family, especially as we spent a lot of time in the vehicle travelling. We had all the Patch the Pirate tapes memorized!

Kyle is a perfectionist. In everything he does, it is kind of all or nothing. If it is not something he can do perfectly, he doesn't tend to do it at all. He was musical and played the piano and trumpet, but practice wasn't something he was fond of and those fell to the way side! He says he will never be one of these people who says they wish they would have practiced the piano when their Mom tried to make them! I think maybe he will, but he probably won't admit it to me!

He also had a flair for the dramatic. He did well in humorous interpretation and speech and had roles in several school plays. I'll never forget a choric speech he did in the 9th grade where he had the main speaking part in "A Man Without a Country".

Sports have always been really important to Kyle. He has always been involved in some sort of team, with Soccer, Football and Basketball being his favorites. He has a lot of natural ability, very agile and light on his feet. I can remember him doing all his required piano practice one year in order to earn his "trophy" at the end of the year. That was his ticket to play little-league football. He did that for 4 years, through the 8th grade, and we really enjoyed it.

He is also an intellectual. He was one of those students who could practically get straight A's, seldomly bringing home any books (of course he hated homework so much, he was motivated to get it done before he came home). We used to have long talks about current events, things he learned in History or the Old Testament. If Kyle hears it or reads it, he remembers it. He can read large books in a matter of hours and has read the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy dozens of times, the Chronicles of Narnia, the Left Behind Series and just about anything else he can get his hands on. If Kyle got in trouble at school....it was for reading in class.

Kyle has a good sense of humor and a mischevious side! He was always very well behaved, but tended to hang out with the honeriest kids in his class! I always figured he was living vicariously through them!

The thing I love the most about Kyle is his tender heart. He wants so much to please everyone. I wish that were an easy thing to do! The one thing that he has to come to a realization about is that if he is pleasing God, he will be pleasing everyone! God has gifted Kyle in so many ways...and yet, Kyle doubts his abilities. I think it is the perfectionist in him. I pray he can set that aside and become the man God created him to be.

I thank God for bringing me my "little guy" almost 19 years ago! How the time has flown. He's God's man and He is not through with him yet. I have missed him more than I can say over the last 2 years. I wasn't ready to quit "mothering" him, yet. Now my ministry to him is one of prayer, but I can't think of a better or more powerful one.




1 Samuel 1:27
27For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him:

Beautiful Music...

For those of you who like guitar, let me introduce you to the following. Dani and I stopped in the Fountain Cafe (coffee shop downtown) Saturday night, and he was playing. It was not only beautiful but it was so fascinating to watch. This is all played on the neck of the guitar. He does Thursday night "open mike" at the coffee shop. I am definitely going to try to hear him again...he has a CD coming out in June/July.

http://www.myspace.com/davidvan

Old Home Week....

Greetings from BJU! WHAT a beautiful place. I am here for the AACS (American Association of Christian Schools) national fine arts competition that Danielle is competing in. This is my first visit here, and I love it! It just has a really great atmosphere and the young people are all so kind and friendly. The music has been breathtaking and the chapel services inspiring.

The best part about it has been running into so many old and dear friends from Tri-City in Missouri, but also those who left Tri-City and are now at various and sundry parts of the country (Indiana, N. Carolina, S. Carolina). It has been so great getting caught up, of course, discussing how grown all of our children are (this sounds very boring to some of my readers, I know...but wait, your day will come).

Danielle sang beautifully. She was very relaxed (Yay...rag doll) and Shayna played beautifully. The vocalist gets a lot of credit, but it could never be done without the support of the accompanist!

Of course, my thoughts have been on Kyle a great deal. Of course, everyone is asking after him and as I watch his classmates perform and listen to what they are singing, I know he should have been a part of this too....ah well. God isn't through with him yet.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. -- Psalm 127:3

BOTH of them are....

Pictoral Evidence..

Here are a few pictures my cousin just sent of our trip to Florida..

This is my Mom (on left), her sister Gay and their bro Philip.




Here they are with their kids (my sister and I hiding in the back).





Here they are with their grandkids.





My sister's and my families...



Good times...good memories.

Great Start....Lousy Finish...aka Family Reunion Flu

Well, we are back from FL after a wonderful visit with long-lost family members. There is nothing like re-kindling the bonds of family and realizing how close they are even though you rarely see each other. I am looking forward to keeping these relationships closer and that much more determined to get Dani and myself over to the UK.

It was great seeing Kyle and having the opportunity to discuss his goals/plans for the future. I am praying that part of that will include him coming to stay with us this summer.

After a wonderful couple of days, we finished off the trip with "family reunion flu". We think my nephew Sean was the carrier. I guess his getting sick after a fun-filled day at Disney World wasn't exhaustion/dehydration after all. Kyle and Dani came down with it that last day. I managed to get home before it hit me and now at least 1/2 of the group (24 in all) have come down with it, including my family from the UK who are still in Florida. If there is any positive side, it seems to be a 24-hour thing...hopefully they will be satisfactorily over it before the remaining 10 days they have on holiday is over.

It was wonderful to be out of town for a couple of days...but wonderful to be home. I'm sorry to have to miss church tonight as I am looking forward to getting back to my church family.

See you all in a couple of days.

Sun 'n Fun

We're having a wonderful time with our family in Orlando! We made it down safely (the van did AWESOME). Spent today just sitting around the pool and visiting...catching up with family we haven't spoken to in years and meeting new family. There are 24 of us in the group. We are staying in a beautiful house (5 bedroom house with pool/whirl pool). It has a game room with Ping-Pong, Foosball, etc. We just sat around the pool today...had a barbeque. My cousin and I bought $300 worth of groceries at Walmart today...and we went through the majority of it today! It's been great seeing Kyle. We're off to play some putt-putt if we can beat the thunderstorm that is rolling in - some beautiful lightening. I think we are off to SeaWorld tomorrow...we'll be back late Tuesday! Miss you...pray for us!

Psalm 23 - For Work

A good friend of mine at work gave this to me....

The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray and do all things without murmuring and
complaining.

He reminds me that he is my source and not my job.
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions that I might
honor him in all that I do.

Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mails, system crashes,
unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers, discriminating
supervisors and an aging body that doesn't cooperate every morning, I
still will not stop---for He is with me!
His presence, His peace, and His power will see me through.

He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens to let me go.
His Faithfulness and love is better than any bonus check.

His retirement plan beats every 401k there is!
When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot
longer and for that, I BLESS HIS NAME!!!!!!

AMEN!

Shoes

Have you ever seen a shoe on the side of the road? Yesterday I saw 2 pairs of shoes with the shoe laces tied flung over an electric wire 20 feet in the air, but these are not the shoes that cause me concern. I'm talking about the random shoe you see along side the road. Sometimes they are very nice shoes. Sometimes they are ratty shoes. Big shoes, little shoes, boy shoes, girl shoes. Whenever I see these shoes I wonder how/why they happened to get there......hmmmm...

Did a couple get into a fight while driving down the road, one of them flinging a shoe at the other only to have it fly through (or break through) the car window?
Was someone late for work, hopping on one foot as they run to the car, trying to put their shoes on, setting the not-yet-donned shoe on top of the car and then driving off and forgetting it was there (I have done this with beverages several times)?
Did an amputee buy a new pair of shoes and only needed one, tossing the superfluous shoe out the window?
Has a crime been committed? Did the victims shoe fall off as their unconscious body was dragged into the trunk of the perpitrators vehicle?
Is it a High School prank and some poor kids gonna be in big trouble when he gets home (nothing flares the wrath of a mother like missing articles of clothing)?

Hmmm...these are the thoughts that keep me up at night...or at least while I am driving and it is a very good thing because I have found that I am a much more effective driver when I am awake. Go figure.

Abundant Blessings...

This has been a great week....

First, new wheels...YAY! As you may recall, about a month ago I started having some car troubles. Well the prognosis was about $3000 to fix a $1500 van, so it wasn't happening. I decided I would just drive the van until it died...and that happened about a week 1/2 ago. After driving a couple of vehicles with +80K miles that were in my price range or lower mileage vehicles way out of my price range, I was really feeling the stress. God and I had several long discussions about it and I reminded him of my faith promise and how I could not out-give him...then, God came through (as though he wouldn't). My sister overheard a friend talking about trading his van and, well, to make a long story even longer, I was able to purchase the van from him at the dealerships trade-in value. It only has 50,000 miles on it and I got an excellent, excellent deal...thank you, God.

Next, the ministry team from Faith Christian school in Lafayette, IN was here ministering in song. A few of the girls came and stayed with us. I love having company and the girls were such a joy to have. Danielle bonded with them very quickly and they had a fun chatty evening. I don't think they got as much sleep as they should have, but I think they had a great time of fellowship!

Finally, Danielle had an awesome trip to Atlanta on a Harvester's retreat where the kids were again challenged to think about whether the Lord would have them serve as missionaries. I could tell that Danielle was challenged and came home with a sensitive heart and a renewed fervor for the Lord. That was evident again in how she responded to her SS and preaching today. God is very, very good.

We are off at the end of the week to a family reunion in Orlando. I can't wait to be together with my cousins (whom I haven't seen since I was a Senior in High School) and their spouses and children (whom I have never met). It will be a short, but I pray, wonderful trip. I am looking forward to getting out of town for a couple of days.

Psalm 92:1-2
It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High;
To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning,
And your faithfulness every night.

Long Line of Over-reactors..........

One of my favorite movies is Father of the Bride. In that movie, Steve Martin is explaining to his soon-to-be son-in-law that his daughter comes from a long line of over-reactors. She has just freaked out for no good reason. I love that line...a long line of over-reactors. That is definitely part of my heritage! A good friend (possibly unknowingly) reminded me tonight that there is no need to over-react to situations we find ourselves in. While on a day-to-day basis, I am not a pessimist, if I suspect that something "bad" has happened, I tend to assume the worst. I tend to use words like "always", "never"...."end of civilization as we know it"...no, not the last one, but the others definitely. D calls me on it when I do.

First, I need to be patient. Romans 12:10-12 says, "Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer..." We always have reason to hope with our Lord in control, and although I wouldn't consider this specific situation a "tribulation", I need to be more patient as things come my way. Take a few minutes to evaluate the situation, wait until I know all the facts....and then look on what has transpired as an opportunity...a chance to learn...a chance to grow. It is a matter of trust, isn't it? Knowing that nothing transpires that God is not fully aware of or has allowed in my life.

Lord, help me let go of the reigns of my life and turn them over to you.

"Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. SELAH." Psalm 68:19

I'm Still Amazed!

I am so full after church this morning. We had the most wonderful Sunday School class, the music was very moving this morning, the preaching excellent and I am just looking forward to our Sword Conference over the next couple of days. Danielle and I have implemented our "no TV" rule for the week. We have always made it a family practice during the week of any special preaching at church, we keep the tube off and try to keep those kind of distractions to a minimum. Not trying to sound self-righteous by telling you that...but I challenge you to give it a try. It is amazing how much you DON'T even miss it. Danielle and I spend more time talking about the messages and how God has spoken to us.

In Sunday School, Mrs. Shelton Smith (I think her name is Betty) was our guest speaker and she challenged us with the 7 greatest pitfalls of Christianity. They are:
1. Authority - Hebrews 13:17 (someone is in charge and it's not me!)
2. Truth - Ephesians 4:25
3. Pride - Prov 16:18, 29:23, 13:10, Psalm 138:6 (insecurity and being easily offended are on this list!)
4. Lust - 1 John 2:16 (unbridled appetite)
5. Peers - Prov 13:20 (even adults have to watch this one)
6. Culture (tempting to give in)
7. Faithfulness - 1 Corinthians 15:58, James 5:11

How do we overcome these?
Bible
Prayer
Giving
Strong Preaching
practicing self-discipline (OUCH!)
Good friends
Mentors
Accountability (to someone)
Steadfastness
Compassion/Kindness
Good Music/Books

As Christians, we never truly arrive. It is a life-long battle with our "striped nature" (Romans 7:15,22-25). We all have struggles. We are all awaiting the redemption from the flesh (Romans 8:18-25). Until we are freed from this body of sin...we must all continue to fight against the things listed above. Praise God he is long suffering and full of mercy towards His children...amongst which I am so blessed to count myself.

I'm amazed to know, how far God would go...to set a lost soul free! I'm amazed at the thought that he paid the cost...for a poor sinner like me. Oh, yes...I'm still AMAZED!

Parenting is Scary....

Being a parent is scary business. I am now going to indulge myself in an old cliche..."I wish kids came with an instruction book"...(I just remembered, they did, it's called the Bible). You're given this precious gift from the Lord. You're made the steward of a life that actually belongs to Him. And, if you're like me, you spend a lot of time trying to stay out of God's way so that you don't mess it up! I have spent so many years being Kyle and Dani's Mom, it has become the major identifier in my life. If I wasn't that, I don't know what I would be (well, I would still be a child of God).

I remember the good old days when my primary concern was whether they remembered to brush their teeth before they left the house, whether they put their bike back in the shed, whether they took their shoes off before tracking through the house, whether they were eating enough green beans. Someone wrote a book, it may have been Dobson, that was called "Parenting Isn't for Cowards". That is so true. I can't fathom this journey without the Lord and I am so grateful to have Him with me.

I wish I could take all my knowledge and experience and funnel it into my daughter's brain so that when I'm trying to give her my perspective on her life, she could trust that, to some degree, I know what I am talking about. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that I have a teenage daughter that is willing to listen; albeit, at times, reluctantly. But I can tell by her facial expressions that, sometimes, she thinks I'm plain nuts (and that isn't far from the truth). But (here comes another cliche) "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree". And how about "she is her mother's daughter". I see so much of myself in her. I wish I could teach her all the lessons I learned so that she wouldn't have to experience the bad stuff herself...but, alas, some lessons have to learned or is it learnt 1st hand! It's my mother's curse...I remember it well..."some day I hope you have a daughter and I hope she acts just like you!" Well...I did...and she does...and I thank God for every minute of it!

And for my final cliche..."That which does not kill us makes us stronger".

I AM THE LORD! THE GOD OF ALL FLESH! IS THERE ANYTHING TOO HARD FOR ME? (From Jeremiah) Survey says....NO, nothing is too hard for God. Not even raising teenagers. Glad she belongs to HIM.

It's Not About Me.........

A sleepless night brought me to a book I read about a year and a half ago...It's Not About Me...Rescue from the Life We Thought Would Make Us Happy, by Max Lucado. It is a wonderful book, and an easy read, I encourage you to get a copy (ask to borrow mine if you'd like).

Mr. Lucado tells us that when our deepest desire is not the things of God or a favor from God, but God Himself, we cross a threshold. In Exodus 33:11, the Bible tells us that "the Lord spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend..." (what a thought!) In this conversation, Moses has beseeched God to go with him and to show him the way as he leads the hard-headed, forgetful Israelites through the wilderness. God agrees and grants Moses one more, very special, request. In Exodus 33:18, this man, this friend of God makes his request. Was it to save him from the trials ahead, from the wilderness looming before him, full of giants and armies, not to mention the millions of ungrateful complaining people he would be leading? No...his request was for a glimpse of God's glory. "I beseech thee, shew me thy glory (Exodus 33:18).

God has promised to be with Moses, not save him from the trials ahead. This glimpse of God was all Moses needed to steel him for what was ahead. There is a most beautiful description of that moment. "And so Moses, cowering beneath the umbrella of God's palm, waits, surely with face bowed, eyes covered and pulse raising. When the hand lifts, Moses' eyes do the same and catch a distant, disappearing glance of the back parts of God...I'm seeing the long gray hair of Moses wind-whipped forward and his leathery hand grabbing a rock in the wall lest he fall. And as the gust settles and his locks rest again on his shoulders, we see the impact. His face. Gleaming. Bright as if backlit by a thousand torches. Unknown to Moses, but undeniable to the Hebrews, is his shimmering face."

Based on the Hebrews behavior and what lay before him, Moses had reason for anger and for fear, but instead God's glory was what was evident on his face. Now, having seen God's face, Moses can face what was ahead.

Max reminds us that we can look around and find fear, or look at our Father's face and find faith.

"You and I need what Moses needed - a glimpse of God's glory." It's in His Word, His love letter to us....my prayer is you take some time to find Him there.

Circumstances

Proverbs 40:20 - 22 says, "My son (and daughters), attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh." God's word is so powerful. I am thankful that "I can believe God's Word rather than what I might believe by looking ay my circumstances. Circumstances can deceive me, but God's word NEVER will."

Today I spent some time in some notes that I made from devotions during a difficult time in my life. It was very overwhelming. Some of the emotions I was experiencing at time came flooding back, but what I was MOST overwhelmed with was the goodness of God and how far he has brought me since then (which wasn't that long ago, chronologically, but miles away spiritually). I was also overwhelmed at the realization at how God had allowed that painful time in my life to be used to minister to people I care about. We CAN trust what God says. All things do work together for GOOD...although it can be hard to see at the time.

I am thankful to be around young people, including my daughter, who are willing to listen and learn and who have tender hearts and are seeking God's will in their lives. I envy them that opportunity, which I missed during my teenage years. I agree whole-heartedly with Pastor's mom, who said, "I am not trying to raise an ordinary teenager." I'm not, and I'm thankful my daughter is not and her friends are not...by God's grace. I am thankful that God has raised my children....in spite of me. HE IS SO GOOD....

Happy(?) Birthday to Me.......

It is my birthday week. True to form, it is the year before and the year after the milestones that get to me, not the milestones themselves. This year it is the big 4-1. I think I get frustrated because I set my life goals around the milestones in my life. The year before I hit them, I am panicked because I only have a year left to accomplish those goals and the year after I hit them, I am irritated because I have not accomplished more of my goals. This year, I am going to set the goal to set goals around non-milestone birthdays and do away with birthday angst.

I am thankful for another year to serve our Lord...another year to learn more about Him....another year to see what He has in store for me (and my children). One of my favorite verses is from Isaiah (I can't remember the address)...Your ear shall hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way, walk in it". I love to imagine the Lord behind us, his hands on our shoulders, guiding us as we take faltering steps forward. The closer we listen for that voice, the more boldly we can step forward as we learn to trust his guidance and lean on His everlasting arms.

Psalm 145:7 "You open up your hands and satisfy the desires of every living thing".

That's Good Preachin....

Last night at church Pastor preached on Ebbs and Flows, from Deuteronomy. He asked the congregation if we ever experienced ebbs and flows, ups and downs, blessings and curses, especially after coming off a spiritual high (see the previous post). God knew I needed that lesson. It is His way of molding us into the people he created us to be. It was very kind of Him to plan that just for me.

Pastor also said God gives us just enough water to keep us encouraged....and just enough of the Philistines to keep us humble. He said that of all the aspects of salvation that we should be thankful for, one of the greatest should be that God saved us from ourselves....from lives of bitterness, anger, disappointment. I can amen and amen to that.

That's good preachin'....

Blessings and Curses...

I have had an interesting couple of days. In my life, it has been my experience that whenever I am coming off of a spiritual high after a great revival meeting or a missions conference, like the one we just had at Grace this week, that I experience a couple of bumps. I hesitate to always blame Satan as my flesh has as much to do with it. But I am trusting in the Lord....no worries.

Blessing:
During the Missions Conference we had to make our faith promise pledge. The preaching at this conference on giving was the best I had ever heard. God really spoke to my heart about making my faith promise just that....a promise of faith. Instead of fitting the pledge into my budget, I decided to make it hurt...not at an irresponsible level, but certainly at a level of inconvenience. I made my pledge with full confidence that I can not out give God. I can't tell you how excited I was after making that pledge. I look forward with great anticipation to see how God will provide!

What do you know...Monday I get to work and make a stop at the bank (we have an branch office at my work place). I'm concerned about the balance because I appear to have too much money in my account (not normally a problem) 2 days BEFORE pay day. The teller looks up my account and there is a sizable payment from the Kansas Payment Center which could only mean one thing....child support. I have been in a battle with my X for the last 2 years. He owes me (Danielle) a very sizable amount. I now owe my lawyer a very sizable amount. But this payment was wholly unexpected and the timing did not escape me. The Lord is letting me know that he is in control!

Curse:
The faith promise is made, the money comes in...and now, car problems. This started over the weekend (although the van has been a lemon from the start). It appears I have electrical/transmission problems that will probably cost far more than the car is worth to have fixed. I still owe a small amount on the vehicle, so now the decision needs to be made...buy or fix? I don't want to put the money into the vehicle, but I don't want to take on a big car payment...blah, blah, blah. Out of all the "frustrations" of single-motherhood, transportation issues is one of my hot spots. I'll keep praying and seek counsel before I make a decision on this one. I know God even cares about my solenoid (sp?).

Blessing:
To end on a positive note, Danielle received a good report on her injured knee. This has to be of God as well. She has been on our Sunday School prayer list. She has not been faithfully doing her exercises and where just weeks ago we were at eminent surgery, the therapist is now raving about how great it all looks. Thank you, God.

More to Come....

Just a quick post for my initial setup. We'll see how this goes.