Repentance....

OK...everyone (including me) starts their blog with...I haven't blogged forever. So, there I have said it.

I have been thinking about Repentance today. Something came up at work today...I can't even remember what it was...just that it was unrelated to the following. When looking for that "other" verse (oh yeah....I just remembered....I was looking for the "whatsoever things are true...think on these things" verse) I came across this passage:

2 Corinthians 7:9 - 11
Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry; but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a Godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For Godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things, ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this manner.

Wow...am I truly repentant? I have no doubt about my salvation. I understood that there is a difference between "Godly sorrow" and "worldly sorrow". I understand that Godly sorrow involves repentance which is agreeing with God about your sinfulness and agreeing to turn from that sin. Worldly sorrow is more of a grief. Perhaps from hurting someone you love or even just from getting caught, but there is no heart change regarding your actions. You don't take the extra step of seeing what you did through God's eyes and turning from those actions. I understand this and I applied it to my life at the point of my salvation and I have stood on that as I "worked out" my salvation over the years.

But it just struck me, as I consider the strongholds I have in my life, those areas of weakness that seem to be ever present in my life, I'm not sure I have ever been truly repentant of my actions in those areas. I think I have readily admitted they were weaknesses that I have. I have responded out of conviction during sermons that I have heard but....they continue to be strongholds. As I read that passage, I think I have come to realize that in regards to these areas, I have had more of a worldly sorrow towards them. I regret the problems they have caused in my life. I regret the way my actions in these areas have negatively impacted those that I love or my ability to be all I could be for the Lord. But I am not sure I have ever called them out as the dirty, rotten sins that they are. I am not sure that I have felt true repentance or Godly sorrow for them. Perhaps that is why they continue to trail me through this life...that last bit of battered, broken baggage that I have fettered to myself, that I insist on dragging along behind me.

I think I need to quit waiting to "feel" repentant and to start acknowledging these "weaknesses" for what they are (SIN). I think I need to start looking at them through Gods eyes and find the Godly sorrow I should have so I can turn from these things....put them behind me.

P.S. I believe this is one of the primary reasons for a lot of "false" conversions. I think you can bring someone to a worldly sorrow...or even a fear of hell...and get them to pray a sinners prayer. But unless they understand and experience true Godly sorrow, or repentance, there will not be a true heart change and their hope will be in an empty prayer. I think this would be a great verse to share as part of the plan of salvation.